Defiance
by importantly
Summary: Because if he’s going to defy gravity, this is it.
1. Shuichi

"Shut up! Goddamn it, _shut up_! Look, _fuckhole_, I'm behind on the deadline because of _your_ antics and _Riku's_ antics. Shut up and fucking _leave_! Get out of _here_! Run to Hiro's fucking arms, or better yet, Ryuichi! I'm sure that fucking J-Pop singer would be more than happy to be with you!"

Never in Shuichi's relationship with Yuki has Yuki ever yelled that much… or that harsh… or that demeaning. What, doesn't Yuki still think Shuichi's head over heels for the Nittle Grasper singer? Is Yuki jealous that Sakuma-san is still chasing after him? Normally Shuichi would squeal with joy because _Yuki wants him_. But the searing pain in his left cheek that Yuki had just forced on just a few seconds before makes him forget about the definition of joy and cheer and everything Shuichi was.

This is the first time Yuki has ever hit him and _meant_ it.

Riku climbs onto Shuichi's leg, trying to soothe the singer, as Yuki looks on with disbelief. What does Yuki feel regret? The one time _he's_ actually hurt Shuichi with meaning and feeling and with the determination to hurt or to shut up or to disappear, Yuki feels regret? Why not before? When Yuki made Shuichi cry on days on end, when did Yuki feel regret?

Yuki reaches out to hold Shuichi's cheek which is glowing a faint pink. Only from the sight of his own bruise, Shuichi can tell from Yuki's paler than pale face that his lover's heart has fallen to the deepest pocket of the body.

"Hey, S-shuichi… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done--" Yuki stumbles on Shuichi's name from lack of use. Should Shuichi love someone who can't even say his name when needed?

No.

But Shuichi can't let that happen--he can't let his lover for the first time feel sympathy because yet again, he's hurt him--so he picks Riku up, with tears stinging his eyes, and slowly walks toward the door.

Only, Shuichi well knows he'll come running back to Yuki, or maybe might come after him for a change, like he did in New York. Shuichi will probably run to Hiro or Sakuma-san, like Yuki said, begging for comfort. Then days later, they'll go back to each other, smiling and loving, until they being to hate each other's guts. Well, most likely Yuki would.

However, this time Shuichi will not come back. He will make sure he doesn't.

At least he'll try, because the more Shuichi thinks, the more he wonders if he should love a man who verbally and now physically hurts him, even if he 's so sorrowful right after. Shuichi knows he shouldn't. And to end this cheesy tale, all Shuichi knows is that he can't help it, so maybe he'll go to Sakuma-san's house with Riku, because if he's going to defy gravity, this is it.


	2. Yuki

I didn't want to do another chapter, 'cause I thought that it was a good ending, but you know, I wanted to do something Yuki-centric, because usually Yuki's depicted too harsh or too sweet for his character.

* * *

He's not gone, and Yuki did _not_ hit him. The brat is merely at a tour, a long tour, a tour that will probably last forever. Bad Luck is doing a world tour, that's why he's going to be gone for so long. The brat's with Nakano and Fujisaki and Sakano and that crazy American. They are in front of millions of fans, entertaining everyone with smooth vocals and hot moves.

But sitting in front of his laptop, typing out words that probably don't make sense, Yuki knows he's denying himself. Every time his cold fingers touch the keys of the keyboard, Yuki can feel the warmth of the brat's cheek, evidence that he _did_ hit his lover--but Yuki never treated the boy as a lover. He treated him as a fuckhole, nothing more than some way to relieve stress. No matter how much Yuki tries to convince himself that he did not treat the J-Pop singer like shit (with reasons like, he let the boy crash at his house and he came to visit the boy when the kid was sick and that he let Riku stay and that he paid for the brat's ticket to New York), Yuki knows that the brat had every right in hell to leave.

But Yuki can't help but wonder, where is the brat staying? Is it Nakano's house like every time? Or is it to spite him, Sakuma's house? Please. Do not say Sakuma's house. It has to Nakano's house. It _is_ Nakano's house, because the brat would not hurt him that way--No. Yuki will not say that it's gonna hurt if he finds out the singer went to Sakuma's house. Even if he has some variation of sadness--which is _not_ sadness--that the brat left, Yuki will not downgrade himself to actually say that he is hurt. That's vulnerability, and that will kill you. Yuki's made sure that nothing like vulnerability will penetrate him. . . .

But the brat _did_ penetrate him! The boy got under his skin and broke him to pieces. Pieces Yuki has tried to fix over the years with therapy and coldness and loveless, frigid sex with stupid annoying women who always wanted more. And when the women wanted more, Yuki hit them hard with snaps that would break a tree. But when Yuki did the same to the brat, the brat would always come back for more.

And with the singer leaving, Yuki's not used to having the boy come back for more. Or going away quietly without a peep. And that scares him, because that means his slap probably broke the cheer that is the singer.

Yuki's fingers curl around the phone and numbly press the one on speed dial, faintly remembering how the brat made such a big deal of having Nakano on one. Yuki dimly smiles. At least he remembers that.

"Yes?" Nakano's drowsy voice asks. It doesn't register in Yuki's mind that's its 2:00 AM and Bad Luck has a concert tomorrow. Why wasn't the brat asleep then? Something about tickets, Yuki doesn't remember.

"Is he there?" Who cares about formal greetings?

"Who? Who's this?'

"Yuki, you idiot. Where is he?"

"You mean, Shuichi? Isn't he at your place? Or did you guys have a fight again? Did you make him cry? Because if you did--"

"Just tell me where he is--! No, is he there?" Where means Yuki's gonna find him. There means he just wants to check up. There's a big difference.

"No, he's not here. Now, _you_ tell me what happened."

"None of your business, asshole. Just find out where he is."

"Why can't you? I mean, I _will_, but why do _I_ have to do it? You're obviously worried about him; you can do it."

"I'm _not_ worried. . . . It's just . . . Riku, that kid, he's with him."

"You're worried about Riku?" Ha, ha, that's funny.

"I . . . . No."

"Then you're worried about Shuichi?"

"No."

"Who are you worried about then?"

Yuki wishes it was no one.


	3. Hiro

It's his birthday. That's why Bad Luck and Nittle Grasper are getting together for an all-out concert. It seems like the love triangle between the two singers and the novelist hasn't affected his obsession with the legendary band. Well, that's good. At least he isn't as corrupted as Hiro thought, because going to Sakuma-san's house, where no one would think to find him shows a level of corruption. Not going to Hiro's house, well, either Shuichi's mad at Hiro or Shuichi didn't want to be found, but there's got to be a reason why Shuichi didn't want to be found. The guy would be jumping for joy if Yuki-san went to Hiro's house for him. Shuichi would know that Yuki-san cares, a lot, more than he lets on. So what the hell happened that Yuki-san would call _him_? It's not like Hiro and Yuki-san are friends--best pals joined at the hip like he is with Shuichi. Even though Shuichi didn't go to his house, Hiro knows that Yuki-san wouldn't be calling if he wasn't worried. So what go Yuki-san so worried?

Hiro shakes his head, swaying to the music as his fingers work their magic on his guitar. He shakes his head even more as he watches Shuichi try to . . . look normal while Sakuma-san slowly and deftly finds the insides of Shuichi's shirt. Hiro was gonna act like this whole fight . . . thing was normal, a thing that would happen in any regular world. But Hiro knows that in any regular world . . . this thing would never be happening. Shuichi wouldn't be _trying_ to act normal while Sakuma-san tries to feel him up in front of dozens of people. Shuichi wouldn't even _know_ what Sakuma-san is doing. And Shuichi wouldn't have been sitting on the couch in the dressing room, with Riku batting his hand, saying, "Pain, go away. Pain, go away." And Shuichi wouldn't have been telling Sakano-san, "Stop making tea. You're not helping, at all." Shuichi's not that cold. In a normal world, Shuichi--

Shit.

Hiro makes a wrong riff, causing Suguru to press the wrong beat, causing Shuichi and Sakuma-san to sing a beat ahead, then realize that their voices aren't incorporating, and the whole stadium goes quiet as they stare at Hiro, jaw-slacked, staring . . .

At Yuki-san . . . getting misty-eyed?

Hiro sees Sakuma-san follow his eyes . . . and then slowly grin. And Hiro knows why. And Hiro curses himself for being five feet away, not having enough time to get between them--Shuichi and Sakuma-san. And he curses Suguru for not starting up the music as he does himself. And he curses Yuki-san for giving _another_ opportunity for media to go wild . . . and for Shuichi to break.

So as Hiro finally succumbs to some reality, in an attempt to divert the crowd's attention, he starts playing Super Drive, their new hit, again. Suguru, Noriko, and Tohma start playing along, K starts shooting all cameras, only after shooting Sakuma-san and Shuichi just as their lips touch. . . .


	4. K

Okay, see, I know this is a short chapter, but I'm saving a scene for the next one, which will probably be in Suguru's POV or Sakano's. Or possibly Rage's. I dunno. Heh.

* * *

"What are you doing?"

K looks up from three mugs on the kitchen table. One has a dog's face on it, one has a penguin on it, and the other is plain. K is contemplating which the singer's is. It could be the dog one because he saw Shuichi holding it once, but it could be the penguin one because Shuichi has a stuffed penguin, or it could be the plain one because Shuichi's mood seems a bit… plain these past two days.

"What am I _not_ doing?" K smirks. Yuki snorts and holds up his middle finger, obviously not caring about the manager. K watches as Yuki drags his hand through his limp, blonde hair and leans against his kitchen counter. It is amusing to K how annoyed and distressed Yuki looks without knowing it.

When Yuki doesn't say a word, K drums his fingers on the table, grinning as he smirks, "I'm looking for Shuichi's mug. He'd get it himself, but he needs to work on the album."

Yuki shifts awkwardly before asking, "What song?"

"Why?"

"Maybe I'm a fan of Bad Luck and want to know."

"You never show it."

"I was at the last concert."

"Super Drive is not a sad song."

"You shot me. Plus, I perceive everything as a sad song."

"Even Shuichi and Ryuichi. And by the by, I was aiming for the guy next to you. He was filming the concert."

"I didn't say anything 'bout them."

"I know all and see all, and you think that they're sad."

"They're not together."

"That's not what the media says."

"Screw the media."

"I bet you'd like to screw Shuichi."

"What's it to you? I heard the concert. He sounded fine. The separation did nothing to his vocals, so I don't concern you concerning him."

The silence is long and thick, and K wonders whether or not he's going to figure out which cup belongs to Shuichi. Actually, in actuality, Shuichi doesn't really need his mug. And Shuichi's not really recording his album. In actuality, Shuichi is at the mall with Hiro buying clothes for Riku. And actually, K is only here to settle his curiosity of the Shuichi/Yuki ordeal. Yes, Shuichi's vocals haven't changed, and yes, K wouldn't really care about anything else, but Ryuichi's suffering from Rage's wrath, because Shuichi won't talk to him, because something happened with him and Yuki. And because Ryuichi's suffering Rage's wrath, Judy, his wife, is suffering Rage's wrath. And because of that, K is suffering Judy's wrath. So in an attempt to settle all these wraths, K has to get some idea why Shuichi's so broken-hearted.


	5. Suguru

Suguru stares at the counter of the café. Well, not the counter, but the people at the counter. More exactly, the people behind the counter--the employees, who probably aren't even the employees, since they look exactly like Reiji and K.

With mustaches.

It's quite comical. The fact that Reiji and K are taking the fight of Eiri-san and Shindou-san this far, that is. It's not unheard of that they would dress up for the fun of it, because after all, they are _that_ weird, but to go this far without even asking Eiri-san (because Shindou-san is becoming ever, so frightening to talk to) what has happened, is pretty impressive. By now, Reiji and K would be in that giant panda robot, destroying half of Tokyo, in pursuit of Eiri-san.

Some woman walks in, holding a stack of papers about three inches thick, and after follows Eiri-san. Suguru watches as possibly the worst unfolds … Eiri-san pulling a seat out for the woman.

It's scary enough to see Eiri-san being nice to someone, other than Shindou-san--and even _that's_ rarely. Now to see Eiri-san with a _woman_? He can't have Shindou-san, so he goes for _women_ now? That's sick! Talk about a rebound. Just a week ago, Eiri-san was crying at the sight of Shindou-san and Sakuma-san in a lip lock. Normally, Suguru would stay out of this--because after all, this whole lover's spat isn't ruining the band much. In fact, the band is milking Japan's sympathy with this fight--but Tohma asked him to keep watch of Reiji and K in exchange for a concert in America.

Even though Suguru is above elated to have Bad Luck go across the seas, he is ambivalent to see Shindou-san's reaction. What if the singer doesn't want to leave Japan? What if he's still in love with Eiri-san? That will corrupt his side of the deal, and Suguru would hate more than an album flop for that to happen. Then again, there's a chance that Shindou-san would actually like to go to America. Maybe there he could get over Eiri-san. Maybe there, Shindou-san could meet a great American guy.

"Here's your tea, Miss, and your coffee, sir," K, badly disguised in the café's uniform, says, and under his breath, mumbles, "Black, like your heart."

"What did you say?" Eiri-san shoots, coldly.

"Can I interest you in some scones?" K replies with a grin.

The woman politely refuses, while Eiri-san just plainly refuses, so K walks back toward the counter, getting ready to deliver the two some scones.

"Eiri-san, the first chapter seems very harsh. It's not like your other beginnings, romantic beginnings. This one starts with murder."

Eiri-san just stares into his coffee, mumbling something incoherent at first, ending with, "… killing people seemed like a good idea."

"I'm not sure your fans will adapt well to this change," the woman replies, a sweetly as she can muster. Suguru can tell that murder does not sit well with her.

"If you want, I could write a foreword, explaining to the readers that this is a true experience. I'm sure it will boost the book to the top," Eiri-san sneers. Suguru cannot tell if he's joking or not. Chances are, he's not.

"You … have rape in here," the woman shudders as she peruses through the three-inch pile of papers. "Eiri-san, please tell me that that isn't true."

"Look, Mizuki, you're my editor. It is your job to tell me whether or not my book is good, and we both know that my book is good, even without murder or rape. If you don't like it, tell me. I probably won't do a thing to change it, but at least it's good to know that I'm getting turned down because my past is such a horrible thing to hear, much less read about in meticulous detail," Eiri-san scolds.

The woman named Mizuki frowns, obviously upset with the situation, and tries apologizes by way of sympathy, "Eiri-san, I don't listen to gossip, but I have to ask whether or not this is reflecting off what has happened with Shindou Shuichi--"

"My work has nothing to do with that baka. If anything, I would say my work has gotten deeper."

Mizuki purses her lips, and as Suguru listens in from two tables away, she mumbles a quiet, "I see…. Well, then, I guess you're writing will be much more impressive in two days."

Eiri-san raises an eyebrow, obviously out of the loop, to which Mizuki replies with a statement that Suguru begins to question a media snitch at NG,

"I thought you would know. After all, the media's having frenzy about it--Shindou-san is going to America."

* * *

_Whoa, sorry about not updating. Forgot all about this. Well, not really. I just couldn't get into the mood of writing it. It hope this is enough to satisfy your needs and mine._


End file.
